Keeping Your New Year’s Evolutions

By Alan Cohen

Many of us make New Year’s resolutions which, according to many surveys, don’t last very long. Many are gone by the end of January, and most are gone by July. Most resolutions have to do with losing weight, saving money, and taking self-improvement courses. All worthy goals, to be sure. But why do most resolutions tank?

I was coaching a woman who was burdened by a terrible sense of overwhelm. She could not keep up with all the “shoulds” banging at her from inside her head, voices of her parents and other dead authority figures. After listening to her painful litany, I told her, “There is no way you are ever going to succeed at keeping up with all of your self-imposed obligations.”

“Why is that?”

“There is no joy, intention, or true choice in any of them. Your life is one big ‘I have to.’”

“Then how do I change?”

“Shift from ‘discipline’ to ‘blissipline,’” I suggested. “You will always succeed at things you choose because they make you happy. You will never succeed at things you do just because you owe.”

There are, of course, things we have to do whether we like to or not. But there are other things we would love to do, but don’t. When we take the time and self-honoring to do the things that fill our soul, the other stuff becomes easier, lighter, and in many cases the volume of distasteful activity miraculously diminishes. You can create a tipping point in favor of joyful activities by engaging from the heart rather than the head.

This year forget about your New Year’s resolutions and pay more attention to your New Year’s evolutions. Resolutions imply an imposition of will over joy; of forcing over allowing; of demanding over flowing. You are on a trajectory of awakening, healing, and self-expression, achieved by cultivating your true self and letting life live through you rather than marching into the black hole of endless obligation. Following bliss requires a leap of faith. You must trust your inner voice and act on it rather than falling prey to outer demands, internalized until you think they are your choices. But they are not. Your true choices proceed from love, not fear.

Read More: Om Times